Fogbo Unit 7a God's Pattern and Responsibilities in the Family of God.



We must remember that we were made to be in the image and likeness of God, therefore we are to take on His character and live by His standards and not ours or the worlds. Remember every true Biblical Doctrine is in harmony with the nature and character of God.

See what you can learn of God's will. [His heart for you]

2. Assignment: For the application of what you have studied in this unit. Evaluate your family to see if it holds to Godís pattern for those in His family. List any changes you see you are to make to bring it into Godís place of blessing., and the steps you will take to bring it there.

Subject Table of Content

God's pattern for the family.

The husband is responsible to God,

The wife has an equally great privilege and responsibility to God

The children has an equally great privilege and responsibility to God and Parents


Self test


Understanding The Family unit, in the Family of God.

God's Pattern for the Family unit in His Extended Family Unit 7. The primary unit in the family of God is the individual, the next is the family unit or the home. God established the pattern for the home in the garden of Eden to be patriarchal and have a theocratic government. 

Marriage inaugurated Genesis 2:15-24 "And the Lord God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it. 16 And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat: 17But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die. . . . Vs. 18 And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. . . .Vs. 21 And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; 22And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. 23And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. 24Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh". . . . 

God gave the responsibility of the family to man, and man was accountable to Him. Genesis 3:6-12 "And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat. 7And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons. 8And they heard the voice of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day: and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God amongst the trees of the garden. 9And the Lord God called unto Adam, and said unto him, Where art thou? 10And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself. 11And he said, Who told thee that thou wast naked? Hast thou eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not eat? 12And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat."

God established the patriarchal rule of the family. Vs.16 "Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee."

The husband is responsible to God for his wife's behavior, and to provide for her by working. Gen. 3:17-21 17"And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life; 18Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field; 19In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return. 20And Adam called his wife's name Eve; because she was the mother of all living. 21Unto Adam also and to his wife did the Lord God make coats of skins, and clothed them."

God gave a chain of command for order in meeting the responsibilities. "Be ye followers of me, even as I also am of Christ. Now I praise you, brethren, that ye remember me in all things, and keep the ordinances, as I delivered them to you. But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God." 1 Cor. 11:1-3

Consider: Eph. 5:21-33 

The husband has a parallel role to Christ, as the priest of the home, its spiritual leader, as Christ is to His church. Therefore husbands are to love and sanctify their wives as Christ does His church. "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh". Eph. 5:25-31

Consider: 1 Cor. Chapt. 13; Gal. 5:22-26; 1 Cor. 14:33-35

The husband also has the role of a shepherd and watchman of his family, as he is to protect them as well as care for them, both spiritually and physically, just as Ezekiel was set a watchman over Israel, God has set the husband over the home. Read Eze. 3:11-21

Such responsibility requires preparation which is to come from the Word of God, taught by their fathers. "Hear therefore, O Israel, and observe to do it; that it may be well with thee, and that ye may increase mightily, as the LORD God of thy fathers hath promised thee, in the land that floweth with milk and honey. Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God is one LORD: And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thin e eyes. And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.......Ye shall diligently keep the commandments of the LORD your God, and his testimonies, and his statutes, which he hath commanded thee. And thou shalt do that which is right and good in the sight of the LORD: that it may be well with thee, and that thou mayest go in and possess the good land which the LORD sware unto thy fathers." Deut. 6:3-9......17-18

Consider: 2 Tim. 2:15, 3:16-17 


Husbands are to love their wives. "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;......So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:" Eph.5:25 . . . 28-29

Consider: Col.3:10; 1 Cor:13 

Husbands are to honor their wives. "Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered." 1 Pet.3:7

Consider: 1 Cor. 7:3 

Husbands are not to put their family before the Lord. "He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me." Math.10:37-38

Consider: Luke 14:16-27, 18:28-30; Cf. Lot. Gen.19:1-26


The wife has an equally great privilege and responsibility to and before God. Where as the husband has the role of Christ in the home the wife has the role of the Holy Spirit who empowers, strengthens us, and intercedes to God the Father for her husband in prayer.

The wife is to be her husband's helpmeet. As she stands behind him, encouraging him, praying for him. No man can be successful as a husband or father or in the work of the Lord without his wife being faithful in her God given responsibilities and privilege of her office.

The wife is to reverence her husband as the Lord. "Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband." Eph. 5:33

Consider: Eph.5:22; Col. 3:18; 1 Pet.3:5 

The wife is to love her husband in the Lord. "That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children," Titus 2:4 

The wife is to learn from her husband. "For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints. Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience as also saith the law. And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church." 1 Cor. 14:33-35 

Consider: 1 Tim. 2:11-12; 1 Pet. 3:5-6

The wife is to be faithful to her husband. "The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life." Pro. 31:11-12

Consider: 1 Cor. 7:10-11; 1 Tim. 3:11

The wife is to be chaste. "Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:" 1 Pet. 3:1-5

Consider: Titus 2:3-5 

The wife is to be a good homemaker. "I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasin to the adversary to speak reproachfully." 1 Tim. 5:14 

Wives beware of special temptations:

Assertion of authority....1 Tim. 2:12-15

Contentiousness.....Prov. 19:13, 21:19, 27:15 

Husbands and wives are to meet the sexual needs of each other. "Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other,except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency." 1 Cor. 7:2-5

Consider: Heb.13:4

Parents have responsibilities to their children. To see that their children meet God's standard for acceptance by Him. Up to the age of accountability, they are accepted by Him through His love, mercy, and grace. If they were to die during that time they would be with God in heaven. King David was assured of this truth when he said: "And he said, While the child was yet alive, I fasted and wept: for I said, Who can tell whether GOD will be gracious to me, that the child may live? But now he is dead, wherefore should I fast? can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me." 2 Sam. 12:22-23

Only God knows for sure where that period of time ends and accountability begins in each life. Therefore it behooves parents to lead their children to the Lord as early as possible to insure the fact their children will not die without salvation and end up in hell.

Parents are to love their children:

Mothers: "That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children," Titus 2:4

Fathers: "David therefore besought God for the child; and David fasted, and went in, and lay all night upon the earth. And the elders of his house arose, and went to him, to raise him up from the earth: but he would not, neither did he eat bread with them." 2 Sam. 12:16-17

Consider: Luke 15:11-32

Parents are to train them up in the Lord. "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." Prov. 22:6

Consider: Deut. 4:9, 6:3-7; Psalm 78:4; 2 Tim. 1:5


Parents are to set the example, Consider: 2 Cor.3:2; and Phil. 3:12-17

"He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes." Prov.13:24

Consider: Prov. 19:18, 22:15, 23:13; Heb.12:5-14


Warning: Fathers are not to provoke their children. . . . .to anger and discouragement Col. 3:21; to wrath (rebellion) Eph. 6:4

Children's responsibilities to God.

To obey Him. "And shalt return unto the LORD thy God, and shalt obey his voice according to all that I command thee this day, thou and thy children, with all thine heart, and with all thy soul;" Duet.30:2

Consider: Josh.1:8,

Children are responsibility to parents. They are to be subject to them, put themselves under their authority through obedience. "And he said unto them, How is it that ye sought me? wist ye not that I must be about my Father's business? And they understood not the saying which he spake unto them. And he went down with them, and came to Nazareth, and was subject unto them: but his mother kept all these sayings in her heart. And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man." Luke 2:49-52

Consider: Prov. 1:8, 6:20; Titus 2:6-8


To honor them: "For God commanded, saying, Honor thy father and mother: and, He that curseth father or mother, let him die theath." Math.15:4

Consider: Lev. 19:32; Prov. 23:22; 1 Tim. 5:1-4

To care for them: "But if any widow have children or nephews, let them learn first to shew piety at home, and to requite their parents: for that is good and acceptable before God." 1 Tim.5:4

Consider: Gen. 45:10-11; Gen 47: 12,28; Eph. 6:1-2


Warning: To Parents They are not to put them before the Lord in their life. "He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me." Math.10:37

Consider: Luke 14:26-28, 18:27-30

All in the family should keep in mnd the Principles of Yoking and Fellowship and Marriage.

Self test: on God's Pattern for the Family unit in His Extended Family unit 7

These questions are more than an academic quiz, they help you think through the facts you have learned, so that you can form convictions as to the will of God for your life. Remember meditation on Godís Word is the key to gaining wisdom, and only when it is applied in your life are you assured of being in the will of God and the place of His blessing.


Things to Consider:


Q1. How is the home to be governed, and why?

Q2. What role does the father have and why is it important?

Q3. What role does the mother have and why is it important?

Q4. What is to be the primary purpose of the parents training their children and why is it important?

Q5. What are the results of a husband and father failing his responsibilities to his wife and children?

Q6. What are the results of a wife and mother failing her responsibilities to her husband and children?

Q7. Why is it important that children meet their responsibilities to their parents?

Q8. Has this lesson helped you in your relations in your home and God's will for your life?

If so how?


You are now ready to study Gods pattern for the local Church in His Extended Family in Unit 8

May your decisions bring you the promise Romans 8:28 " And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose."

Your friend in Christ Warren T. Smith